DEIRDRE FERGUSON PSYCHOTHERAPY SUPERVSION
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Self-Esteem

What is self-esteem?
It's the way we regard our "self." High self esteem means we see ourselves as good and capable and low self esteem means we see ourselves as not good enough. Self esteem is instilled in us at a young age. Our self esteem is the result of how we experienced relationships with, firstly, our parents and then siblings, friends, teachers etc. Parents have the biggest influence on self-esteem and can be considered a main source of positive and negative experiences. Unconditional love from parents helps a child develop a secure sense of being cared for and respected. Childhood experiences that contribute to healthy self-esteem include being listened to, being spoken to respectfully, receiving appropriate attention and affection and having accomplishments recognised and mistakes or failures acknowledged and accepted. Experiences that contribute to low self-esteem include being harshly criticised, being physically, sexually or emotionally abused, being ignored, ridiculed or teased or being expected to be "perfect" all the time. Studies have shown that when children do not receive positive mirroring and encouragement, they tend to feel negatively about themselves. 

Self-esteem affects virtually everything we think, say, and do. It affects how we see the world and one's place in it. It affects how we act and communicate with others and how we are in relationships. It affects the choices we make - choices about what to do with our lives and with whom to be be involved with. It affects the ability to both give and receive love. And, it affects the ability to take action to change things that need to be changed. Low self-esteem leads to a lack of confidence in yourself thus making it difficult to take risks. For instance, insecurity may make it almost impossible at your job to ask for a more challenging responsibilities or ask for the raise you think you deserve. Fear of failure and insecurity can be paralyzing and lead to more symptoms of anxiety and depression.  

How does psychotherapy help build self-esteem?
Psychotherapy addresses the roots of low self-esteem, which often originate in one's family of origin.
What messages did you learn as a child?
Were you encouraged and supported?  
Were you criticised or compared to others?  
Psychotherapy can help understand how your upbringing and those experiences affected how you view yourself now and how you currenly live your life.
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